I knew for several months that I wanted this to be my first post. I think that it’s important for Alise to be recognized and remembered for all that she’s endured, loved, and provided as a mother. Alise’s motherly love extended well beyond the birth of Grady. If you are familiar with our story, parenthood did not come easy. After seasons of disappointment, surgeries, pain, and prayers, God proved his faithfulness. Alise found herself on the receiving end of pokes, prods, and countless needles as we decided to seek professional help by way of in vitro fertilization. Through all that Alise endured, her spirit remained high, fueled by the bundle of joy that she would carry. One of the most vivid and proud moments that I have as a husband and father was to see the look of love and the tears of joy when Alise saw the first picture of Grady when he was only six days old – a blastocyst! The challenges did not stop there as we found out in week 13 of pregnancy the pain Alise was beginning to experience was rheumatoid arthritis (RHA). RHA is not something you contract, but rather it laid dormant waiting for the right circumstances to reveal itself. Alise’s immune system was triggered to attack her own joints. There’s a challenge with being diagnosed with RHA during pregnancy; there’s no good medication available that isn’t harmful to the baby. Alise had to suffer through chronic pain. One of the only safe medications that may have provided some relief (Tylenol) happens to be deadly to Alise. Do you know how many pain killers contain Tylenol? Alise was able to manage her pain with prednisone, codeine, and by sleeping in chairs to avoid pressure on her joints. During all of this, Alise always said that her baby boy was worth it and that if she had to endure it again, she would.
But Grady wasn’t giving Mama any breaks either. Proving to have his father’s stubbornness, he elected to stay in his Mama’s comfortable womb for too long, requiring a C-Section as fluid levels dropped and risks mounted. After about 20 hours of labor, we were able to lay our eyes on the most precious gift that easily erased the sense of emptiness that we felt as a family. Alise elected to forgo necessary RHA medication and continue to suffer for the next six weeks as she weaned Grady on breast milk. Grady returned his thanks by being one of the most well-mannered babies there is. We were fortunate to have a child with his disposition, hearty eating, and sleeping habits.
Grady is now 21 months old and I am always amazed at how purposeful and focused Alise is in Grady’s every waking moment to give him quality attention. She knows his needs. She knows when he wants to play, cuddle, eat, sleep, wrestle, slide, check out animals, etc. Alise is very in tune with her little boy. She never feels put out or exhausted by the attention and friendship he craves from his Mama. I can remember in our conversations before Grady was born Alise saying that all she wants is a child to run up to her, hug her legs, and beg to be held. I often remind Alise of her wish as Grady does this to her regularly. Alise soaks up every moment.
As Grady is getting older, we are beginning to see his mischievousness and assertive tendencies emerge. I can’t say I’m completely surprised by his actions – he’s 100% his Dad’s boy as he is his Mama’s. For me, disciplining seems foreign and I’m learning as I go. However, Alise is much more methodical and she reveals her everlasting patience. She often seeks advice from her mother – is there a better compliment to Meme than that? I’m confident that disciplining is a right-brained activity. It’s more of an art form or balancing act, and subject to the direction the wind is blowing. Whatever her ways are, Alise is effective in disciplining Grady without crushing his spirit.
Above all, I’m thankful for the spiritual role model that Alise provides for Grady. There’s no doubt that Grady will know the love of Jesus. Alise leads by example and makes a concerted effort to ready the Bible, pray, sign Biblical and praise songs, and tells stories with Grady. Grady has said “Amen” for many, many months now. He also folds his hands together during prayers. His bible is the only book he requests that goes by a name other than “book”. I couldn’t be more proud.
Alise, I love you and I’m so thankful that you are my wife and are such an amazing mother. Your motherly love is an earthly reflection of our heavenly father. Happy Mother’s Day!
- Richard
This post would not be complete without pictures of some of my favorite memories of Alise being “Mama”.
In good spirits prior to one of her surgeries
Laying down for 48 hours, even if it requires travel during Thanksgiving
While we were on our trip to New York, we did not forget that we had a medication schedule that kept us from wandering too far
Here's a picture of some of the meds that Alise had a love/hate relationship with. These were only a few of the needles. The pile would look a lot bigger if there were more shot sets instead of needle heads that screwed off.
Mama greeting Grady for the first time outside of the operating room
Lots of kisses
She could stare at him all day
Nap buddies
Mama held Grady through many Clemson football games in the past two seasons
Alise is always by Grady's side, especially when boo-boos occur
Out at the beach
My favorite people
Mama's always on the lookout for a fun time!
"My Mama!"
Alise is always trying to get in more cuddle time, no matter how old Grady is
Sharing some fun water time together
